Saturday, December 27, 2014

a letter to my son (and other unmotivated individuals who believe it's supposed to be easy)

You made a comment at your cousin's on Christmas Day that really encapsulates everything that infuriates me about you, everything that I fear for you.

I ask that before you grow defensive at my words, you consider them carefully, with the knowledge that they come from someone pretty damn smart, with experience, who loves you dearly and wants nothing but the best for you.

Your cousin asked if you had considered which nursing school you were going to attend. 

You replied simply, "I dont know, I have options."

No sir, no you do not have options, not at the moment anyway. You most certainly don't have any good options and you damn sure don't have a plan.

What you have is $15,000+- in a bank account that was intended to pay for your education. 

You have a laptop that was bought for you with that money. 

You also have a set of bedroom furniture, television, entertainment center, punching bag, and desk that your parents have given you. 

Wow. That's a damn good start. But do you know what you don't have? You don't have options and you don't have options because you don't have a job, you don't have a car, you don't have any employable skills or experience, and apparently you don't have a whole lot of integrity. 

That's a concept you should study. Integrity. It's a lot more than just a word. Without it? A man has nothing. With it? Nothing can destroy a man.

But integrity won't get you anywhere if you're not willing to put forth the effort, to roll your sleeves up and work for good, work for your independence. 

You've recently been offered several available options - the VFD, the Nurse Practioner in my office, an entire first semester of college during which you did not have to work - and you have squandered each of those. I think you believe options and opportunities are limitless, always available when you decide you are ready to take advantage of them. That's not the way opportunity works. Sometimes you only get one chance. 

The more time and resources (and trust) you squander, the more your options shrink.

And what happens when you run out of options? You hope your mom will let you live with her while you work some minimum wage bullshit job?

That's going to suck! Especially if your mom is pissed off at you because you won't wash your clothes, clean your bedroom and take care of your dog. 

You don't have options. You have a C and a D in two first semester college courses, an absolutely disgusting bedroom, a pissed off mom who doesn't trust you, and a rapidly shrinking trust fund that I'm not certain will last until you decide to get off your ass and do the right thing. 

You've already let a ton of opportunities pass you by because you were scared, or unwilling to put in the work. Those opportunities are growing fewer and fewer and will begin to require that you work harder and harder. One day they'll stop coming at all. God doesn't keep throwing ropes down for people unwilling to climb.

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