Thursday, May 1, 2014

forgive me if I don't say hello

There's a difference between blogging and writing. 

I have a hard time blogging. It is social, interactive. 

I find it to be very awkward. 

I love the anonymity that comes from writing - it's nothing but you and your thoughts scrawled across the page. I also love the little thrill that comes with the realization that someone has read those thoughts and responded to them. 

Proper blogger etiquette requires interaction and reciprocal blog visits and commenting. That kind of freaks me out and makes me clam up. 

I can spew my heart across the page and even know that it is being read, but the minute I talk to you I become more exposed, you become real. It removes the anonymity. 

I become vulnerable. I begin to squirrel away the thoughts. What was once hastily scribbled lines across a napkin or restaurant ticket shoved in pockets has become hurriedly typed snippets shoved  in digital notepads. 

No one ever sees it. Because I don't want to talk about it. 

I'll never be able to talk about it, not in a way that anyone would understand. But, I might be able to write it. 

I'm a bit timid. Please forgive me if I don't say hello. 

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