Saturday, March 30, 2013

six word saturday

Slightly intoxicated. Overwhelmed by others' stupidity.

cruel hearts

The room grows very quiet when we take away everything that we cannot talk about.

You quickly discover there's nothing left to say.

I am struck by the audacity of their meanness.

How fucking cruel can we be to our fellow human beings?

Cruel enough to nail another human being to a cross, even if that human being was never anything but thoughtful and kind.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

six word saturday

Long day. Fragile truces. New traditions.


Friday, March 22, 2013

at home

I know what I'd like to do.

How I'd like to decorate my home, I mean.

I want to share all my favorite things. Including those parts of us I miss the most. Small tokens, hardly representative of the swell of love I feel with each thought of you.

I want to share them, among my favorite things.

But she'll be angry to see them there.

It makes me angry that I care.

Sometimes I still get overwhelmed with emotion when I think of how much I wanted you to be real, how much I longed to know you, how terribly alone I felt without you.

I think it's kinda how The Boy (aka Fine Young Man) feels about his Daddy.

I wonder sometimes if that's how you ever felt about yours, or about me.

I am still angry at them for keeping you away from me, especially given how incredibly adamant I was in both my belief and my desire.

Forgiveness is easy. Acceptance is impossible.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

dynamite

I have a temper.

It is horribly volatile and, sometimes, violent. It is often ridiculous and, at times, absolutely terrifying.

Anyone who knows me, knows that.

They also know that I struggle mightily to control it. Well, rather, they know that it is incredibly difficult for me to control it. But perhaps they do not realize just how successful I am in not letting it control me.

And for some reason, there are those few in my life who seem hellbent on tempting this temper.

And then marvel at the fact that I get mad, every single time. I am nothing if not consistent.

The Boy is just as consistent.

I'd rather you argue with me or even tell me to fuck off than to lie to me.

There is very little that enrages me more than to be lied to.