Sunday, January 27, 2013

mommy dearest

Momma doesn't really want to talk to me.

We had become quite close, but that is over now. She doesn't want to be around me.

She doesn't want to be around The Boy either.

How do I know this? Because she chooses, quite pointedly, to not be present.

I'm not sure if it's because she's mad at me or because she's ashamed of herself. I suppose it could be either one, depending on the time of day and her ability to feel remorse, which I question.

I've betrayed her, well, betrayed Daddy. In her mind it's the same thing.

That's what Daddy said anyway. She and I don't talk about it. We never have.

She just screamed in my face and lied to me about it for years.

While preaching to me of honesty and trust.

I suppose it may be hard to face me now, but I've done nothing to make it so. Perhaps she doesn't know I've forgiven her. It's not a concept she seems to grasp and she never bothered to ask.

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