Monday, April 16, 2012

Daddy's girl

I don't talk about my Daddy much here. In fact, according to that label thingy, I've never mentioned him at all.

There's a reason for that. 

I love my Daddy, but he was my first heartbreak. I have a hard time forgiving him for it. Especially when his current words and actions practically beg me to forever hate him for it. I think he'd like it if I would. It would save him the trouble of hating himself. 

I understand. 

It doesn't make it right. Just because you were born an asshole doesn't mean you have to continue to choose to be an asshole. You could always be something better. You could always choose to not be an asshole.
Or maybe you can't. 

Either way, he didn't. And still hasn't. Except perhaps with my Momma. I'm guessing I'm a lot harder to face than my Momma. She never really lost faith in him, but I did. 

What a shame!

I can still see him there, shining with the brilliance of an eclipsed sun as I looked up to him, clinging to him for safety. I trusted him entirely. 

He lied. 
......

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