Tuesday, May 19, 2009

off the map

It's been brought to my attention that I'm in a weird place right now.

Indeed I am and I'm not entirely sure it's a good place to be.

A friend of mine asked me earlier today how I was doing. My response was, "well, I'm still in one piece."

But that's not entirely true.

In fact, I feel as though I'm completely unraveling at the seams and losing bits and pieces of myself all over the damn place.

Friday, May 1, 2009

fearful procrastination

I'm listening to Nirvana. I'm also remembering the mint chocolate chip ice cream waiting in my freezer. That almost makes up for the fact I'm listening to Nirvana.

People often ask, "Well what do you want to do?"

I want to sit in a cabin in the woods, reading, sleeping, eating...and writing.

Writing, truly writing, is a painful, soul-wrenching experience that leave me exhausted - hateful because I want to be left alone to get it over with.

The moment I sit down and really begin to work, it's like ripping off the bandages. I bleed across the page until I'm spent. Then I sleep.

I awake, I read, I eat. I write.

I've been putting it off. I'm not certain I can withstand the bloodshed.