It's been a struggle to form a coherent sentence the past few months so in an effort to get my juices flowing, I'm taking a crack at this meme I ran across on another blog, Terroni who blamed Maria.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I'm not at all certain perfect happiness can be achieved in this life. In fact, I'm fairly certain that it can't be. That's not to imply I'm some sort of severely depressed woman who has given up on finding that perfect happiness. Nope, I'm merely a moderately depressed woman who believes perfect happiness can only be found once we enter the Kingdom of God (i.e. once you're dead.)
2. What is your greatest fear?
It probably varies by day and the circumstances invading my life at the moment, but my longest-standing, deepest-rooted fears are that I will not be loved, or that once people really get to know the "real" me they will judge me unworthy of love.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
It's almost impossible to choose only one, but most of them eventually come back to my complete lack of motivation.
4. What is the trait that you most deplore in others?
Again, it's almost impossible to choose only one, but most of them ultimately come back to a lack of compassion.
5. What living person do you most admire?
I admire anyone who can roll with the punches of life without becoming hardened or bitter or losing their faith in God.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Food. I spend an obscene amount of money eating out because I enjoy a good meal and think the best meals are the ones I don't have to cook. It used to be pot, but then I had to become a responsible, drug-free adult. Apparently I just have a lot of "munchie" flashbacks. :-)
7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Patience. Of course, I'm severely lacking this particular virtue which may be why I like to think it's overrated.
8. On what occasion do you lie?
Most often when I'm trying to spare someone's feelings.
9. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My teeth. I've always had horrible teeth. The alignment is awful and they are extremely weak, which has led to massive cavities in most of them. If I hadn't heard false teeth were so painful, I would have them all pulled and purchase a nice radiant smile for myself.
10. What living person do you most despise?
I most despise cruelty in general. The only person I've ever truly despised was the mother of my first husband. She was cruel and manipulative. I still haven't decided if she was merely insane or downright evil. It's taken me many years to forgive her for the pain she inflicted on him, for the chaos and conflict she created in our lives.
11. What words or phrases do you most overuse?
"certainly," "of course," "what the fuck?"
12. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Marshmallows. Well no, but they're right up there. I've been blessed with several. My son, even though he drives me to the brink of insanity. I did not realize such all-encompassing love was possible until I became pregnant. My son's father, for whom I felt such an innocent, utterly devoted sense of love for. The One, who I met when I was 13 and knew immediately he was my other half. He was the one who completed me. Even after all these years, I only feel complete when he is in my life in some capacity. The Second One, who came along long after I'd lost The One, long after I lost my son's father, right when I had given up on ever being capable of feeling such love again.
13. When and where were you happiest?
Prom night my senior year (spent with The One), for a week at the beach July 1999 with my son and his father
14. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I wish I could muster up more motivation to get more accomplished in my daily life.
15. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
The fact that my son has never doubted my love for him. Now if I could just convince him of the need to follow the rules and quit lying to me.
16. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
I would hope it would be a big fat house cat who got to lay around and sleep all day, preferably with a loving owner who would let me curl up in their lap when I felt the need for affection.
17. Where would you like to live?
In a small southern town on the shore. I always feel productive there.
18. What is your most treasured possession?
My photographs and the Bible my mother gave me.
19. What is your favorite occupation?
I truly loved being editor of the newspaper, but I look forward to being able to provide real hands-on help to people in an emergency situation. I would love to become a counselor one day, a grief and Hospice counselor in particular.
20. What is your most marked characteristic?
Most likely my laugh.
21. What do you most value in your friends?
Honesty. I firmly believe honesty is paramount in all healthy relationships.
22. Who are your favorite writers?
Charles Dickens, John Steinbeck, William Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe,
23. Who is your favorite hero or heroine of fiction?
Scarlett O'Hara, even though she is a selfish, spoiled bitch throughout most of the book. I love her spunk and determination.
24. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
The ones whose names no one remembers, the every day people who labored and loved and made a quiet impact on their little corner of the world.
25. What is it that you most dislike?
Feet, macaroni and cheese, the smell of cat litter (even clean cat litter) and clumps of dog hair in the floor
25. What is your greatest regret?
not going to college when I was younger
26. How would you like to die?
quick and painless, preferably in my sleep
27. What is your motto?
"The only thing I HAVE to do is stay white and die."