Monday, February 23, 2009

not even a life raft could save you

Have I missed an important memo?

Did the world elect to name me as the patron saint to every self-destructive, lost and lonely asshole among us?

What's the deal, pickle?

How is it that every disillusioned, dysfunctional, self-destructive asshole finds his way to my door with the grandiose notion that I can somehow save him from himself? And why in the hell do they keep coming back????

Good hell! (To borrow a phrase often used by Maria.) Is the universe trying to tell me something about the role I'm supposed to be playing on this earth or is this the idea of some kind of cosmic joke?

Well it's not very fucking funny.

"The savior of wicked men."
Yes, some asshole actually referred to me in such a manner and then had the audacity to be slightly miffed when I told him that I'd gone out of the savior business as it was too time and emotion-intensive with very little return on my investment. Besides, I tend to leave the savior business to entities much better equipped than myself.

Here's a newsflash folks, NO ONE can save you from yourself!!! Get it through your heads! (My apologies to my readers for this angry rant, but sheesh!!) I'm so tired of hearing these guys wallow in self-pity, "well this is what the world has made me and why should I care if no one else does?" Um, hellloooo!!!! You are the only one who chooses who you are. You are not the sum of the hand life has dealt you, but are the sum of how you choose to play those cards. Don't blame the world because you made the wrong choice and don't expect me to offer anything but a good old fashioned ass kicking when you're sitting around talking about folding and walking away from the table because it's just too hard.

Sink or swim dude, sink or swim, but drowning is one hell of a shitty way to go out and I have no intention of sitting here watching you go under when you refuse to even tread water.


  1. I admit to never having that problem. Maybe it is my face, maybe I just look like that the type of person who would snicker too much.

    Maybe you should work on giving out icy looks and snickering. Look like a hard ass. It works...

  2. This very thing plagues me as well - and yet I have to resort to a blog for my self-destructive rants because I can never find anyone willing to listen!

    In recent years I have started bluntly telling friends after a while that I can't help them if they won't help themselves. It doesn't always go down well...

  3. Back in caveman times, these guys were eaten by wild beasts as they sat staring moodily into space, pondering their incorrigible selves. It is a pity that all of our natural predators are now so scarce and we are unable to thin the herd in this way.

  4. I don't know what got me giggling more, trying to screw my face up into an icy look while snickering or imagining some giant pre-historic rat making off with the carcass!

    But now I have a great mental image to help me with the snickering thing!