Ever have a a hard time determining whether something placed in your path is an opportunity or an obstacle?
I'm there now.
Part of me is excited about an opportunity that has presented itself, but at the same time, another part of me is annoyed that my other plans are being thwarted.
When I left the newspaper a few months ago, it was for a number of reasons, primarily because the company that owned the paper was absolutely horrid. However there were other reasons as well, not the least of which being that I had utterly ceased to exist beyond the role of "newspaper lady." The community constantly demanded more and more of my time. More time that I should have been spending with my family.
I left the paper, taking a position as a political consultant. Recent events brought an abrupt end to that line of work and I found myself virtually unemployed, with a permanent part-time freelance project to help carry the financial burden.
My husband shocked me by announcing that perhaps it was time for me to write that book. He also reminded me that it would be a great time for me to go to school, so that I could begin working towards the career in counseling I've always wanted.
That was before he began seeing dollar signs.
The idea of my spending my time writing, for me, and going to school has been completely forgotten. Instead, I've been asked to start a new source for local news. It began innocently enough. Since I left the local paper has really been dropping the ball on some major stories, not reporting them at all, or horribly misrepresenting the facts. Members of the community have begged me to come back and tell them what's going on. I toyed with the idea of starting a blog or a website to cover local government. That's it, just local government. After my husband spent a few minutes with the calculator, it suddenly grew into a huge monster of a project, involving multiple layers of news coverage, including sports and schools which is impossible for one person to cover, and a print edition, with the help of a partner.
Problem is, I'm nor sure I see the difference between getting stuck at the newspaper and getting stuck at this new site, paper, whatever the hell you want to call it.
The project requires a level of commitment that I'm not sure I'm ready to offer again so quickly. Whatever happened to it finally being my turn?