Thursday, August 9, 2007

do you ever see red?

My vision tends to get a bit blurry when I'm angry.

I try not to get very angry very often. Unfortunately I have a very short fuse and it has been a very long week.

Over the years, there have been many days I thought my office to be positioned directly over Hell, but throw in the record high temps, which really suck in the humid south), add a huge glass window in an old, non-insulated building with crappy ductwork and I quickly become quite certain that I am not only NEAR, but very much IN Hell.

Oh, and did I mention that I work for a REALLY shitty company?

I would like to think they don't TRY to be that shitty, but I no longer have any faith in that.

I try to assume the best of people, until I am proven wrong, but I am proven wrong so often.

I have a friend who looks at it a bit differently. She avoids being so disappointed in the failings of others by believing, not that everyone has an inner goodness, but that deep down people suck, so she is always pleasantly surprised when they don’t.

I’ve tried the cynical route and it really doesn’t work well for me.

So for now I'm going to go stew for a bit and sleep. Perhaps when I wake I will be calm and have a clearer understanding of how people find it so hard to do the right thing, even when the right thing seems so easy.


  1. Ok. This is going to sound so sloppy and sentimental...but I have a mantra that I say to myself when I am VERY angry.

    I say in my head: Peace, love and healing..over and over again.

    It calms my breathing, soothes me a little.

    So, just passing this along and hoping that it doesn't make you puke! I personally HATE it when people come up to me with sappy advice.

    And good hell, the heat here in Nebraska has been just stifling. My garden is bursting and I can only stand to be out there about a half hour a day.

    The air that you wear....

  2. Thanks Maria! Personally I think sappy, advice is the best kind! :D Peace, love and healing...I should write that on my hand so I'd be reminded throughout the day!

  3. It seems we're stewing in the same pot! I work for a pretty shitty company too, and ...oh do I have a short fuse!
    I use sarcasm a lot, but really get driven up the wall when they don't seem to understand it!

  4. At the core of every pessimist is an idealist who got tired of being disappointed by a shitty world.

    Burn them all.

  5. yessss. anger fuels creativity.

  6. I have to say I admire you for acknowledging anger when you feel it. A lot of my day is spent smooooooothing stuff over, with others or within myslef. This is not really good, because when I finally do blow, I blow big time.