Saturday, July 7, 2007

you mean this isn't normal?

• Flashbacks, or reliving the traumatic event for minutes or even days at a time
• Shame or guilt
• Upsetting dreams about the traumatic event
• Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
• Feeling emotionally numb
• Irritability or anger
• Poor relationships
• Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much
• Hopelessness about the future
• Trouble sleeping
• Memory problems
• Trouble concentrating
• Being easily startled or frightened
• Not enjoying activities you once enjoyed
• Hearing or seeing things that aren't there

They call it post traumatic stress syndrome.

I've always called it life.

It makes sense, although I'm still not certain the particular events of my life could be considered traumatic, I allow that you can certainly say they have traumatized me. However I view that as more of a character flaw within myself than any measure of the events themselves. Perhaps that is where the shame comes into play — I suppose I could have handled things much better. It's been a long time, a lot of years have passed. I should be over it by now.

But should I be?

Do we ever really get over it?

It's hard to believe we do, although I will concede that we should probably be able to reach a point where the pain is no longer so sharp, the visions so vivid or the wounds so fresh.

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