Monday, June 25, 2007

unrest

I stopped outside the post office to chat with a pastor in the community.

He too, is facing cancer.

The question was raised as to whether or not seeking treatment was some sort of circumvention to God's will.

The pastor nodded his head enthusiastically. That's a question we are frequently faced with.

His words were simple, not filled with flowery language or dotted with scripture.

We must pray to know God's will. He will give us the answers.

But how will I know that it is truly God's will that I'm hearing and not what I wish His will to be?

If we are filled with unrest at a decision we have made, it is most likely not the will of God, for when we do His will, we will be at peace. If you are filled with unrest it is either because the decision does not yet need to be made or because God wants you to rethink the decision.

I have heard His voice distinctly before.

Write.

Write what?

Write what you know.

But what do I know well enough to write?

Write of God.

But who am I to write of God? What do you want me to do, study theology? Walk away from this world of over-indulgence to live simply, to drown the noise of all the distractions we have created so that I might hear and know Him better?

I thought I'd lost my mind, considering the notion for a moment, as it filled me with unrest. Yet now, it is the idea of doing anything else that fills me with anxiety.

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