Thursday, June 28, 2007

patience

"Patient" is not a term people generally associate with me.

I'm much more of instant gratification kind of girl. I want what I want and I want it right now, thank you very much.

Last week, years after I first read it, I decided I needed to own and re-read a copy of Thoreau's Walden.

As excited as I am to read that book again, I haven't even yet let myself finish the first chapter because I'm almost afraid it will be all it takes to convince me to sell the house and head off to live simply, and enjoy my life.

I am told I must be patient. So I stamp my feet and paw at the ground, restless. Why should I be patient? What exactly is it I'm waiting for?

2 comments:

  1. "What exactly is it I'm waiting for?"

    A sign, perhaps?

    I wonder if the sudden need to re-read Walden was a sign.

    I wonder the waiting is less a product of patience than of fear of the unknown, like the fear that keeps you from allowing yourself to actually READ Walden, for a deeper fear of further change.

    You know, it's been a while since I last read Walden all the way through but I seem to remember that in the end Thoreau returned to society. His self-imposed exile was only temporary, and he grew as a result of his experience.

    Then again, maybe for you Walden is just a form of escapism. "I wish I could just drop everything that bothers me and walk off into the woods and never look back!" In that situation there's really no intent to actually go through with it, and I can understand how the idea that you might be tempted to would be frightening.

    Would you lose more than you gained?

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  2. we're all waiting for somthing

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